Feels like love
by Lothiriel84
Summary: After all that had been said and done, he had no idea of where they were going from there. - Title from the namesake song by Asia; set after the season finale, so of course beware of spoilers.
1. So far

**So far…**

Neither of them ever dared to bring up the subject again.

The following months were just a blur – both of them fighting tooth and nail to get closer to Red John. Lisbon through hard police work, and Jane… well, following his own not so orthodox way.

In the end he succeeded in seducing a tiny bit of information out of Lorelei.

That led them to an abandoned warehouse in the suburbs of San Francisco, where they actually found _something_.

Bit by bit, they started getting closer. Until they eventually found _him_.

Much to Jane's surprise, on the spur of the moment Lisbon decided she wasn't going to take any chances. So she shot Red John dead before anyone else could do as much as moving a finger.

Seeing her going on trial for that was the worst nightmare he'd been through in years.

Eventually it was over. Lisbon was found not guilty, and went back to her job at the CBI.

The team desperately struggled to go on as nothing had happened. While Jane spent most of his time on Lisbon's couch in order to keep an eye on her.

After all that had been said and done, he had no idea of where they were going from there.

…

_I didn't see it. Of course._

_What?_

_He's in love with you._

_Don't be silly._

_I know, hard to fathom, but... uh, there's no accounting for taste, is there?_

_Hush._

…

_Obviously you want to dance._

_With you? No._

_Oh come on, you could pretend that I'm that mean cold-hearted guy that you used to worship from afar, but never talked to._

…

_If I were dying, I'd want to call you, but you're already here, so there's no need._

…

_I'm always going to save you Lisbon, whether you like it or not._

…

_I could tell she liked him. She was meaner to him than the other kids. You know, like Lisbon is to me._

_Shut up!_

_See?_

…

_Far too intense and particular for a man like that._

_Excuse me? Intense and particular? What is that supposed to mean?_

_They're good things._

_In what ways am I intense and particular?_

_Oh, please._

…

_Good luck, Teresa. Love you._

…

Even now he didn't dare to bring up that last particular subject. Didn't want to end up hurting her even more than he'd already done.

For he _did_ love her. And of course he remembered telling her that.

As he remembered when he had reached for her hand that day – holding it as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

Funny how those words had escaped from his lips before his mind was actually aware of how he felt about her.

Now he knew for sure. And as he watched her filing reports he experienced the same warm feeling he used to get every time his eyes had rested on his late wife.

The feeling that made him want to stand up, put his arms around her and gently nuzzle her silky hair.

He restrained himself though. It was his fault if she had chosen to take Red John's life, despite all her principles and her belief in justice. She had done it for him.

The last thing he wished for was her giving up something else for his sake.


	2. and henceforth

…**and henceforth**

Those two words weren't what had startled her most.

A declaration of love made by a man who had been beside himself with so many emotions that his brain had probably gone haywire… well, it wasn't such a big deal.

Or, that man being Jane, maybe it _was_ a big deal. However…

It was the way he had clung to her hand in that desert that had touched her most.

…

_You alright? _

_Yeah, I'm fine. Never better. _

…

She had never understood before how much he actually needed her. How her presence was enough to make him feel better.

That's why she had to save him – no matter what it took to do that.

Some people might think she had killed Red John out of love for Jane. It wasn't completely true.

She had killed Red John so that they could all move on. Not only Jane and her, but her team as well.

They had been living under that evil shadow for much too long.

It was high time for them to come back to the light. She would have been willing to pay the highest price for that, if she had to.

Now here she was. Filing her paperwork as if she had picked up her life exactly where she had left it.

Yet so many things had happened in the meanwhile. They couldn't pretend otherwise any much longer.

"Jane?"

His gaze slowly met hers – and she felt she could quite get lost in the new warmth of those eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You still haven't told me what you meant that day."

It was clear that he immediately got her meaning. He studied her for a long moment before asking that question.

"Do you really want to know?"

_Did she want to know?_ She herself couldn't tell that.

One thing was sure though. She _needed_ to know. Whatever the consequences might be.

He got up from the couch and came to her side. Lisbon shuddered as his thumb grazed her cheek.

For he wasn't looking at her as a man in love with someone. His intent stare reminded her more of the way a husband gazes at his wife.

Unconsciously her hand slid to his chest, fingering the fabric of his vest.

Jane tilted his head, and his lips brushed against hers almost in slow motion.

Then he started trailing featherlike kisses all over her skin. At the corner of her mouth, on each of her eyelids, just below her ear. When his lips found her neck she let out a moan – her own feelings suddenly threatening to overwhelm her.

He smelled of tea and aftershave, and felt so solid and warm against her body. Her arms tightened around him, as if she didn't want to ever let him go.

"Do you really want to know?", he murmured once again – his lips a mere inch from her collarbone.

"Yeah", was all she was able to say.

She couldn't care less about her rational mind pointing out that the two of them were too messed up to even think about a relationship – not to mention a marriage.

They were going to be together in this – and that would be more than enough.


End file.
